Our surprise trip home

Because we left America in June, we were unsure if our return so soon was a good idea. We felt like we were letting down our friends here by not participating in Christmas activities, but we took the plunge and didn't look back...I must say it was worth every dime spent, lack of sleep, and weeks of sickness that came with the 4 weeks in America. When we went home for 6 months to have Tate, our life was a whirlwind and I felt as if I missed so many moments. I spent the whole time back living life as if I had never left. I was too exhausted to have hard conversations about my new life, the ways I have changed, or even different perspectives. No one asked about life in India, and I was ok with that. This time, things were different. I found myself longing to share, but unsure of how to do so. I didn't want to, but I do feel that I dominated conversations with family in an effort to cram 4 years of my life into 4 weeks of time....desperately trying to be sensitive, yet understood. Trying to love, yet be truthful about the things I struggle with in America and I found myself exhausted, yet in many ways finally able to express so many emotions, feelings, and ideas that have been trapped inside for years now. 

A friend told me about a blog she read where someone said, "If America is blue and South Asia is yellow, then I am green." The lady didn't fit in America anymore, but would never truly fit in South Asia so she always found herself hanging in the middle. This is me. I am green!