Now I live the dream. I love what we do. I am passionate about it, fulfilled by it, excited about it! Perhaps I am not "changing the world" but definitely feel that I am making a difference. I do have a fear that when I have children, it will mess up this dream. I fear that my focus will become my kids and I will no longer focus on the world around me. I will be changing the world for my kids, but this dream has always seemed so small. I pray that as the Lord enlarges our family, he will enlarge my dreams. He will continue to use me to make a difference in the lives of others here where I live. I hope that I will not find myself "stuck" at home while Levi gets to go and do all that WE are passionate about.
We have been pushing real hard since I've been pregnant to continue the lifestyle so that I won't find it easy to stay at home. This has been awesome but now the rain and the apple trucks have washed out the roads and 8 hours on really rough roads makes me miserable. Both ways I ended the trip sick as a dog and that is when we knew that I would not be doing this again until after the baby comes. How hard it is to realize that I have no choice but to stop for this time. How afraid I am that I may be home for longer than my heart desires!
Here are some pics from the land that we have come to love:
Hi! My name is Lori Smoot and we're friends with a few of the same people. I finally accepted your friend request on FB and I decided to check out your blog. As I read the above posting I couldn't go to bed without a little word of encouragement. In our personal dream to move to India, we've had to wait over 5 years due to some difficult pregnancies... but really due to the grace of God because we weren't ready. (Actually, we're not their yet, so apparently we're still not ready!)
ReplyDeleteAnyways, I'm pregnant with our third child and often think about the ministry we will have in India. As a new wife, I pictured my ministry alongside my husband's. After our first child, I never wanted to leave the house for fear I'd fail in some grand way. After the second one, I left the house, confident I wasn't going to break the baby and ventured back out into the world. Now with our third one, I don't know what change of pace it will bring, but I DO know for a fact this: I will never change the world FOR my kids, most likely my capacity to change the world will be THROUGH my kids. With children, strangers not only see a difference in you, but it is magnified and expanded at the sight of a child raised in a home with Ch**st as its center. Your life is about to change dramatically (and it sounds like it already has), and with the change will come amazing new opportunities. Have hope! :-)